sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
