Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
