I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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