No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
