Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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