Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
being pregnant is like rehab
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
