i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
