Just took my morning after pill in the library
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
