even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
