Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
