Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
