I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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