I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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