What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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