Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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