On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
