They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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