Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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