Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The maid of honor just puked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
