break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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