Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think people are normalizing furries
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
