ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
