butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
