And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
