Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
