Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
