he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
