Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.

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(416): View more from Ontario

when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

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(630): View more from Illinois

you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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(360): View more from Washington

Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

(360): View more from Washington

It was me.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

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(703): View more from Virginia

Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.

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