on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
