We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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