So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
