you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
