i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
