My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
