he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
