i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Found the puke drawer
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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