I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Where is the hickey?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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