she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
