Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
