what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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