Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The best revenge is premature balding
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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