i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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