I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
