my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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