Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
