If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
