Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
