it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
