matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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