if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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